Winning, Losing, and Raising Strong Children

When we look at a champion, it all seems so simple: victories, medals, applause, and respect.

But very few see what lies behind that bright picture—defeats, disappointments, anger, frustration, pain, and even the temptation to give up completely.

I know this firsthand. In one of my tournaments, I lost in the very first fight and left the mat with two broken ribs. What followed was a long and painful recovery, along with personal challenges, relocations, immigration struggles, and all of life’s chaos piling up at once. At that moment, I could have said to myself: Why do I even need this?

But I didn’t. Yes, I took a break. But I came back. I didn’t give up. And that, above all else, is what sports—and especially Kyokushinkai Karate—teaches both adults and children.

I am deeply grateful to my family, to my children, and to my wife, Alexandra, who stood by me and encouraged me to return and keep moving forward. I am grateful to my teacher, Shihan Steve Fogarasi, who welcomed me and became my mentor. And I am grateful to my friends, who accepted me with all my quirks (in the best sense of the word) and supported me in all my efforts. Without these people, I don’t know if I would have managed. But I know one thing for certain: I didn’t give up.

A Message for Parents:

If you want your child to grow into a strong, resilient person, they must go through challenges and overcome difficulties. Yes, it sounds tough—but not cruel. There’s an important difference.

Life itself is not easy. And if a child doesn’t learn to cope with obstacles while they are young, it will be much harder for them to do so as an adult.

So what shapes a strong personality?

1. Parental Support

When a child loses, struggles, or feels like quitting, the most powerful thing parents can say is:

"This is not the end. Keep going. Move forward."

2. Environment

Children mirror what they see and hear every day. Their friends, teachers, coaches, and role models all influence how they respond to challenges.

3. Patience

Today’s loss can be tomorrow’s strength. Just because you don’t see immediate results doesn’t mean progress isn’t happening. There is no magic in sports—only hard work, sweat, and sometimes pain. But alongside that comes joy, satisfaction, and the deep happiness of knowing: “I did it.”

Final Thought

One wise saying puts it perfectly:

“Victory is the result of a thousand defeats that did not break us.”

And very often, it is a parent’s belief in their child that becomes the foundation giving them the strength to continue.

Believe in your child! Believe in yourself! OSU!